The Bird Flipper: The Name Game

I hope you don't mind me cross posting here for a while, while I'm getting the Bird Flipper up and running!  My post over there today is... well... addressing what you've all probably already been thinking about my kid's name... Go check it out.

Two Words: Penis Cookies

I've got a new post up on the new blog!  Check it out:

Resurgence of the Blahs...

Bleeps, I'm dragging once again.

Blargh.

Maybe it's a resurgence of the baby blues?

I'm not sure how much I talked about all that when they originally hit, but I struggled with some post-partum stuff.  I'm sure you recall my post about crying over everything.  Funny... when its not you.  A couple weeks after Tuck was born, I had a meltdown.  I mean a TOTAL. #$%*@%$. MELTDOWN.

Over the dogs getting my Mom's banana chocolate chip muffins down from the counter and eating the whole thing.

I was like, inconsolable.  Over banana muffins.

Seriously, ask Adam.

Fortunately, I'm not back to meltdown status.

It's more like the ho-hums.  Feeling kind of lonely.  Out of place?  Or something?

Know what I mean?

Anywhodoodle.  When I get like this, I sometimes get a wild hair for something different.  Sometimes small, like changing my hair color or getting a new hair cut... but I did both, and... meh.

I'm afraid my wild hair might turn more drastic... Moving?  Different neighborhood?  Different state?

I never thought (very seriously) about leaving Arizona.  But now?  Everything is what's best for Tucker.

So... I'll be waiting to see how the mud settles.  See if this is just the "blahs" making me restless.  Or maybe it's an inking of things to come?

PS:  Have you checked out the new blog yet?

OMGee!!! My New Blog Is Finally Done!!

BLEEPS!!!!

I've been promising (threatening?) long enough.

The new blog is finally here.

TA-DA!

The Bird Flipper! 

What?  Heck no it's not referring to the middle finger.  Because that would be rude and inappropriate.  I just like birds, ok?  Why are you laughing at me? 

With two shiny new posts, all ready to go!  Here is a sneak peak of one post...

Apparently Rapture Is Tomorrow. I Feel Like There Should Be a Facebook Event Or Something.

Earlier this week I got invited to a Facebook event. It was a post-rapture looting party. I thought, "hmmm.... it is time for rapture already? Shouldn't I have gotten a memo or a twitter-status update from Jesus or something?"

Go check it out, and tell me what you think!
 
And please, please please, pretty please... help me spread the word.  It would be great if The Bird Flipper could have half as many awesome Bleeps and Busted has.  Thank you so much (in advance!)

Getting All Sentimental. Or Maybe It's Just Sleep Deprivation.

Heya Bleeps.  Thanks for your patience as I'm slightly AWOL.  On top of a crazy work schedule I'm working on that new blog, yahoo!  Hopefully will be done by the end of the week.  Sweeeeet.

So I was laying (lying? I forget how English works) in bed last night, and getting sort of sentimental.  About this time last year, we were finding out if the little jelly bean that would become Bingo that would become Tucker had a heartbeat.  The pregnancy before this, at the same first ultrasound appointment, we found out that the little bean(s, twins) had no heartbeat.  Needless to say, I was a mixture of apprehension and hope this time around.

At this appointment, I had the whole Blog-and-Twitterverse rooting for us, and nothing made me so happy to blast out "we have a heartbeat!" 

I knew it was still an uphill battle at that point, but the fact we had a heartbeat was positively a miracle.  I remember seeing him on another ultrasound at about 12 weeks... one that I posted on here as a matter of fact (on the secret hidden preggo page).  Can you believe that little thing turned into the Tuckmiester we know today?

I know I'm biased, but he's seriously the coolest little dude ever.  I can't imagine the world being without him.  And all that awesomeness grew out that little jumping bean at 12 weeks.  Sort of makes me change my mind on some women's issues from my formerly liberal ways, but this isn't a place for politics!  It just makes me more open to compromise in that area, knowwhatimean?

I'm sort of rambling today.  I don't have a formal post planned, just wanted to say hi.

"Tuck" got me a coffee machine for Mother's Day.  Appropriate, considering he's the reason for my need of caffeine!

We're still not rocking the casbah when it comes to sleeping.  He usually wakes up twice, always hungry.  Feed him, and he's back to sleep.  Trying to increase the amount of food the little guy does in the day, but he's such a damn light eater (seriously, I wonder if the milkman was that way cuz Adam and I sure aren't).  At the four month doctor's visit he was 75% for height and 25% for weight.  Tall and skinny--good for his professional basketball career, but I'd still like to see some extra lbs on him now...

Tuck was five months yesterday.  Five months!  Holy shamolely.

We met Lobster and Mr. Green + kiddos at the zoo on Saturday, and decided we might as well get a three year annual pass since we'd be there often enough as Tuck gets older.  Adam decided to plan ahead and check the "2" under number of children.

WTF?  Is there something you'd like to tell me, dear husband?  Have you pulled an Arnold Schwarzenegger and you have a 10 year old kid someplace?

"No, just planning ahead, since it's a 3-year pass."

Hmmm... don't know how optimistic to be about that.  But here's to hoping.

Still breastfeeding, but he doesn't appear to love the boob during daylight hours so I'm pumping a lot.  We'll see how long I can keep my supply up at this rate.  Thank you Reglan.

Let's see, what else?  I miss sleep.  A lot.  But I love Tuck about a bajillion times more, so c'est la vie.  I'll start reading that Sleep Lady's book that was recommended to me.  But honestly he's a good sleeper, I really do just think he's hungry! 

Catch me up!  What's going on with you.  Give me good comments people, I'll read and love them all day long.

PS:  Here's a video I shot of Tuck recently.  It's all close because I was holding him with one arm and filming with the other.  Adam is making him laugh by explaining how The Donald believed the President wasn't an American (or maybe he's just saying hi.  Hard to be sure.)

Stay Tuned, People

Psst.  Hey.  Just checking in to let you know I'm not really here.  I'm actually someplace else.  It's a secret, though.  I'm working on a new blog.  Five enterprising people have already figured it out.  Thanks, 5 enterprising people. 

Stay tuned, it's coming soon...

In the mean time, #LFMF (Learn From My Fail Blog)...

When teaching middle school kids, do not let one of them answer the phone. "Hello, city morgue, you kill em' we chill em'!" Is NOT what your boss wants to hear when he calls your room. #LFMF

If the only beverage in your fridge is a pack of 5 hour energies, do not drink all six of them, no matter how thirsty you are. #LFMF

If you happen to be out of, er, ‘personal lubricant’ when things are getting hot & heavy, do not attempt to improvise with egg white. It whips into meringue, and things just get weird from there. #LFMF

When you think you have intestinal bleeding, take into account the huge slice of red velvet cake you ate earlier on, before freaking out your parents. #LFMF

Before kicking open the bathroom door like the awesome ninja you are, make sure your mom isn’t in there. #LFMF

When toddlers imitate you, don’t make a big deal out of the things you don’t want them to repeat. Otherwise every time they see someone they might hold their finger up and say,"No poop in the bath." #LFMF

Guys, when your wife asks "Do you think I’m pretty?", the dramatic pause between "No." and "I think you’re beautiful." IS long enough for her to take it the wrong way and start crying. #LFMF

Don't call the tow truck, the parking brake is on. #LFMF

When coming out of the stall in the ladies restroom to find a guy standing in line, don't ask him what he's doing in the ladies room. "He" is a she and will become emotionally distraught at being mistaken for a male. #LFMF

Regardless of the type of beer your wife enjoys, never refer to her as a 'Stout Person.' #LFMF

When living in an apartment with three girls and one shower, remember to clean the shower drain regularly. If you don’t, the ball of hair you pull from the drain after half a year with be massive enough for your roommates to scream at the "giant hairy dead rat" in the bathroom garbage. #LFMF

And finally...

The web address for Dick’s Sporting Goods IS NOT dicks.com #LFMF

Winner, Winner, SHEEN Dinner

I miss crazy Charlie Sheen.   That was a fun couple of weeks there.

Anyways...

GIVEAWAY TIME!

Last Friday, I was did a review for Michael Barr's new book, Swimming in Circles. 

It's pretty much the answer in getting dudes to talk about their fertility stuff, too.  I really enjoyed the read, and his straightforward (with humor) take on things is something I think anyone would enjoy.

And for good measure, I'm also contributing a copy of A Few Good Eggs... so both the lady and the mister have something to laugh over...

Ok, let's see what we've got here... going to Random.Org...

 And it looks like #16 is...

Congratulations OliveLEAH!  Kindly send me your address and I'll get these books out to you!

Thanks to everyone who entered.  BTW, today is my second post... read down for the first one.

Full Circle? More Like A 180 I Suppose.

Bleeps, my head is spinning.

Yesterday, I reposted last year's Mother's Day entry.  I was a little bit preggo this time last year.  I remember posting about that day, but for the life of me I can't find that post... if you happen to have a better memory than I do in my sleep deprived state, please let me know which one it was.

But the gist of the post was a pep-talk from my mom.  In my four previous unsuccessful pregnancies, over the course of almost five years of TTC, I had never been preggo over Mother's Day.  Thank GOD.  In my younger years I would have celebrated the face that I'd be a mother by that time next year, and I think that would have made the heartbreak of miscarriage even that much more painful (if that's possible).

After many unsuccessful pregnancies, my reaction to being pregnant on Mother's Day was extremely tempered.  I didn't want to acknowledge it, get attached, get my hopes up.  I wanted to celebrate my mom and Nana, and just ignore my own personal situation.  If this pregnancy didn't work out, I didn't want every Mother's Day thereafter to be a painful reminder (like I needed anymore of those).

Alas, if you've been reading this blog you know all about my adorably enthusiastic mother.  Mother's Day last year she gave me my first ever Mother's Day gift... just a goblet that says "New Mommy" and a bottle of perfume that smells like baby powder.  Of course I pitched a fit.  Told her no, let's not get excited, let's not jinx anything.

And she gave me the speech: "You WILL be a mother, someday... whether from this pregnancy or a future one, or adoption, someday you will be a mom.  And you deserve to celebrate this day too for that reason". 

At that point, I didn't dare to hope she was right.  But here I am, one year later.  Mom knows best. 

All that being said, I still feel weird about Mother's Day.  I can't put my finger on it.  I should be jumping from the fluffiest clouds and watching rainbows fly out my butt.  But I still don't feel like it belongs to me, like I'm in the club yet... Weird?  Yes, probably.  Force of habit?  Maybe.  Too many years of feeling out of the club?  Likely.

Perhaps it will hit me on Sunday morning.  I'll wake up (much earlier than I would have hoped for... ah sleep, how I miss you) and see that adorable little dude and have another "holy crap I'm a mom" moment.  I hope so.  I hate missing out on these moments from my infertile mentality. 

Note to Adam:  Just because I'm having trouble connecting to this day doesn't mean you don't have to get me a gift.  And no phoning it in either, I've already ordered your Father's Day gift.  Fair warning.

Any other Infertile Mom's out there know what I'm talking about?

And for my fellow Infertiles yet to be a Mom, just sending you some love.  Hang in there.

Retro Busted: Childless Awareness Day

It's still amazing to me how things have changed in a year.  I have many thoughts to share, but I'm still processing... in the meantime, I give you my Mother's Day post from last year!

Dada.  DAda.  DADA.  DADADADADADADA (That's the Jaws Theme): Mother's Day

Originally Posted: May 9, 2010

Welcome to a special Sunday post of Busted:  The Mother's Day Edition. 

This is the first Mother's Day I've been blogging about.  And despite four previous pregnancies, this is the first one I've been pregnant over.  People have said, "oh this must be a special day for you!"

Eh.

My friend TRex called Valentine's Day, "Singles Awareness Day".  In that vein, Mother's Day is definitely the "Childless Awareness Day".

Not that I have any sour feelings about it.  I just don't relate to or identify with it whatsoever.  Adam's been nice over the years and so therefore I've gotten the odd card from the puppies for being a good "Puppy Mom".  But overall, Mother's Day for me is a celebration of my Mom, my Nana, Adam's mom, aunts, etc.  My friends who are mothers.  Mom's all over the world.

Me?  Not so much.

I probably won't be able to remotely relate to the word "Mom" until they thrust a crying baby into my arms.  Even still I'll probably be checking the kid for tags that say, "Offspring of Busted Kate".  God willing that day should ever come. 

In typical Kate fashion I block out how much this day could and should bother me, but the fact of the matter is this day is usually pretty painful for Infertiles across the world.  So, as my "Childless Awareness Day" present to you, I give you the gift of "the upside".  The Upside of Infertility.

You're welcome.

Today, you...

...don't have to clean up poop that your two year old has smeared all over the walls.

...can sleep in without some dirty child jumping on your face at 5:30 am.

...can drink heavily.  Repeatedly.  All day long.  Without that nasty stigma of being an "alcoholic parent".  You can just be a regular ol' alcoholic.

...you can watch an X-rated movie.  On the big TV in the living room (Adam's contribution).  Adam also suggests you can watch a bloody horror movie.

...smoke crack without worrying you're being a bad influence on the next generation.  We've all seen that commercial... "From you, alright! I learned it from watching you!"

...can leave the house without Child Protective Service getting called on you for leaving your children unattended (way worse than having neighbors complain about your barking dogs all day, or so I've been told).

...can have sex anywhere in the house you'd like (another Adam contribution).  Or just lounge around naked.

...spend the money that would have gone to a Mother's Day present on something much more practical and useful over the long term.... like Uni-Corn Corn holders.  Awesome.

So ladies, what things will you enjoy today about being childless?  Happy Childless Awareness Day!

(PS:  Infertile HUGS, hang in there.)