On Sunday, Nurse Awesome (NA) and I took her kids and Tuckman to the kids play area at the mall. I'm always looking for anything to do that's in air conditioning, and I'm sure a lot of other moms were thinking the same thing as the place was packed.
Now, Tuckman being only six months, he was quite content to stay in the Ergo (BTW, BEST CARRIER EVER)
and just watch the other kids play. But Nurse Awesome's kids (a 3 year old boy and 1 year old girl) were out there ready to mix it up.Despite being crowded, there were plenty of objects to play on and with. A large lizard thing was a more popular item, closely situated to where NA and I were sitting.
Here's the part where I judge other people's children. I'm not proud of myself. Really, it's more of a judgement on the parenting. But don't judge me for judging. Can't we all agree that anonymously judging children is acceptable here?
So, it was popular for kids to come and stand on this lizard thing (it is Arizona, after all... the playground has cactus and teepees and stagecoaches to play on, what do you expect?). But one little boy was territorial. He didn't want to play on the lizard, he just didn't want OTHER kids to play on it.
To the extent that he would push other kids off of it.
Um, what?
NA and I took to calling him Monkey Boy because he had one of those kid-leash/backpack things (obviously not tethered to a responsible adult) that was in the shape of a monkey. Also? He was like five years old and still wearing a diaper (here comes Judgey McJudgerson).
Homeboy was not little. He was a solid little mass, and he unapologetically shoulder checked anyone playing king of the lizard. Fortunately, other kids were mellow (including NA's kids) and simply moved on to other play items.
I was watching all this go down, and wondered a) where the heck this kid's parent was, and b) how would I handle it if Tuck got pushed off the lizard?
I'm not going to lie, when I saw Monkey Boy push off a little beanie baby some girl had placed on the lizard's head, I started feeling a little territorial myself. Must not push a little kid. Must not push a little kid. Must not shout out, "Hey @#$hole that's not your lizard!" at a five-year old.
When Monkey Boy kind of butted out NA's son, I had to resist the urge to stand up and shout "will the parent of this miscreant kindly remove him from the civilized children?" NA's son paid no notice, and even ended up playing a game of chaotic chase with the kid later on.
So, how do these playground politics work, when someone's children are acting like honey badgers?
I mean, I can't just haul up there and push the kid down, right? Even though he's asking for it, it's still, like, inappropriate to hip-check someone elses child, right? What if no one is looking?
What if I keep a spray bottle with like a 15 foot water stream, and I just give him a little reminder squirt?
What parent would have a problem with that? It's not like I'm hurting the kid or anything. And it's your fault for not supervising them in the first place. Really, it's you whose put me in this situation. So you should be apologizing to me, parent-who-obviously-went-shopping-and-abandoned-their-kid.
You've got to train me up on the protocol here, people. I don't want to get arrested for trying to kidney punch a kindergartener.
PS: Monkey Boy, you better watch your back.
PPS: I'm sending some mad love over to my dear friend Nikus, who is having her awesome little eggies retrived today... and she's bringing in deviled eggs to the IVF staff as a treat! How awesome is that? Go read her blog and wish her luck :-)
PPPS: Ok, maybe I exaggerated slightly when I said he was five. He was probably between three and four, and just the size of a 10 year old :-)
PPPS: If you don't know what I'm talking about with the honey badger, then you HAVE to watch this video. It made me laugh so hard I snorted. (NOTE: If you're viewing at work, Randall does drop a few bad words, so watch it when the boss isn't around...)
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Honey Badger would have taken out that little kid.
I worked in an Elementary school too long. I'm not shy to gently correct anyone's child especially when they could potentially hurt another child. There are some parents who would be mad if I said, "Honey, it is not really nice to push others." However, at that point, I see it as I might be the only voice of reason this child ever hears so I will take their misplaced parental anger. The playground is where children are learning how to socialize with others and it is a good place for gentle corrections. If my kid knocked someone down, I don't care who told them it was not a good idea as long as they learned the lesson.
I don't think size is necessarily a good indicator of age. My nephew at 3 looked a good solid 5. But that makes it worse that the parent left him unattended, not better.
On the plus side, at least he wasn't biting.
I went with my niece and nephew to a shopping mall in Charlotte once that had a playground, and I'm sure they had an attendant and all sorts of signs to not leave your child unattended.
You wait until no one is looking and throat chop them. Then they can't scream either.
Or you "accidentally" bump into them really hard.
Or, I just send in my 12 yr old. Kid on kid violence isn't as bad as adult on kid.
I am the mom that will say something if you aren't watching your child. I have three to watch and do so without issue. So if your I phone is more important expect to hear from me when your 6 year old tries to toss my 4 year old off a 7 foot slide : )
Kate, I don't have children yet, but I did yell at someone else's kids at the pool once. This elderly woman had brought her granddaughter and friends to the apartment complex pool. When she said it was time to go one of the friends took the reigns and refused to get out the pool and were taunting the elderly lady. She wasn't in swim wear (and could barely walk) and obviously couldn't force them out but was late for a dr's appointment. I don't know what came over me (maybe b/c I'm a teacher) but I got them out without touching them. Sometimes a stranger saying something quietly but firmly will scare a bully into submission for a few minutes at least lol. (I'm still embarrassed whenever I think about the pool incident...) Since i'm not a parent I don'tknow what's appropriate outside of school...but in school that wouldn't have been tolerated!
Love the honey badger video! Awesome!
I don't know how playground rules work, but if someone was messing with my kid or being unfair, my inner teacher would come out and tell him to knock it off.
On a related note, is it okay to discipline other people's children when they are misbehaving at your house? Even if their own parents are there? We recently had an outdoor BBQ party and, while we don't have kids of our own, we invited people to bring kids with them. We had a few lawn games to play with and some kids brought their own games. Most of the parents just let their kids run all over without any supervision. At one point, a few kids were getting rough with each other and were using frisbees as battering rams. I stepped in and said that we don't play those games at our house and that hitting wasn't allowed. I don't know why the parents didn't step in, but I also didn't know if this was okay. Thoughts?
Ugh. Parents that don't watch their kids piss me off!!!!!!!! I would have said something without a doubt. And god forbid that kid laid a hand on my daughter. I WOULD have found out who the mother is and we would have had words.
Okay, my kid was seriously an angel. I'm not saying that because I'm his mom, every mom would mention it to me but at 3 years old, he turned a corner and can be a freakin' terror. He waits for the instant I turn around to do exactly what he knows he is not allowed to do.
So I feel it takes a village.
I'll even tell another parent if I turn my back and he does something he shouldn't feel free to tell him "No!".
And I do the same to others. These punk kids were playing on a train and were being mean to anyone in their circle. So, I set them straight.
Kids try to get away with everything they can and we as parents need backup sometimes!
When my daughter was about 19 months, we were at a playplace with some friends and it was packed. There was this rude little boy that was about 5 too and he kept being mean to my daughter. Like shoving her, yelling at her and just being ridiculous. Wonder mom of his was on her cell phone the whole time and if he went near her, she'd tell him to "go play for god's sake". Nice.
Anyway, I had told him twice to be nice to my kid. He shoved her out of the way one too many times I guess, because my daughter hauled off and punched him in the nose. He went crying to his mommy and she got off the phone to come tell me that I should be watching my kid.
So, here's my question! How do you NOT start a mommy brawl at the playplace? lol I said some things I won't repeat and she left with her kid.
I'm still new to all this parenting stuff too but I wonder if the child was "normal". The fact that he was probably 5 and still in diapers makes me wonder what's going on.
But even if he wasn't - his parents should have still be watching him and correcting his behavior - or at least yanking him out of there when he started pushing.
I don't have kids and some people would say if you don't have kids you should criticize but I admit parents that don't watch their children and just let them run wild, break things and bully other kids do annoy me a lot!
That was supposed to be **shouldn't criticize** Guess while I judge the inattentive parents they can just judge my typos. lol
I've got three kiddos and if a parent can't be bothered (or is blatantly ignoring their child) being mean, dangerous, etc., I will firmly, but nicely, reprimand said child as necessary.
Also, when my son was 27 months old he wore a size 4T. Now, at 8-years old, he's just under 5 feet. I can't tell you the number of times people would judge him for acting his age (i.e. tantrums, being wiggly and the like) because he looked so much older than he actually was. Don't be afraid to speak up but remember, it's not the kid's fault his mom sucks. And just because he looks 5, it doesn't mean he's not 2.
Oh heck no. I occasionally corrected random strange children in public BEFORE I had babies, because being a teacher will just do that to you. And when I had babies? Forget about it. I decided that I would rather my daughter see that I will stick up for her and that she doesn't have to take crap from people, than worry about offending a slacker mommy that I'll never see again. She can go complain about me on HER blog if it makes her feel better, but nobody's gonna push my child around!
Oh thank goodness you live in AZ and I am in CA or you may have been describing my son!!! AHrg. BUT..the only difference is that I would have been there and intervened. I am currently struggling soooo hard with my 3yo boy. He is a sweet love and so fun and funny...but he plays sooo rough and is very heavy handed with his friends and I am just at my wits end trying to get him to pull back. I have talked with other moms and they do say that 3 is a really tough age so I probably should warn you that it may be you someday...but the most important point is this...Kids will be kids...but the parents need to intervene when behaviour needs a correction. The fact that the parent was nowhere to be seen is the biggest problem I hear. Had that been my son (and it very well could have been these days)...he would have been removed from the lizard because he was not playing nice....what else can you do?
I do understand the feelings of really wanting to clock someone else's kid though....even with a crazy 3yo of my own...I get frustrated when other children are acting that way but there is no intervention. But now I just want to clock the parent. I know how hard I try to get W to be kind and sweet, but children are individuals and they will do what they want...I just have to make the consequenses unpleasant enough that he changes his behaviour. If a parent doesn't at least TRY...it pisses me off. I never thought I would have THAT KID...but now that I do, I realize how bad it feels when your child sometimes hurts another or acts up in public...BUT...I know that as long as I am close by and correct him at every turn, there is hope he will either grow out of this or learn that better behaviour has more pleasant rewards. So...cut the boy a little slack...but definitely find the parents and sucker punch them a couple times!!!
Thanks for the shout out my Kate. Finally posted about yesterday's adventure, so go check out my ordeal. I'm home again today so if you don't want to work, that's where I'll be. Love ya!
(and again, you post about me and I get more followers! Thanks!)
Honey badger is my new best friend! I think you're allowed to hip check little kids if they push down your own kid, though. *This message is not intended to be legal advice. :)
I always read your blog at work. And sometimes I'm trying to keep from busting out laughing -- trying so hard in fact that my face starts contorting and my eyes well up with tears. This was one of those times. I, too, have wanted to kidney-punch a kid or three in my day.
Also, thank you for the original intro to the honey badger. My husband and I can't stop quoting it and crack up every time we watch. Which is sadly a high number of times.
Haha the honey badger is the mascot of my roller derby team ;)
One of the best youtube vids of all time!
Spray bottle idea is awesome. It infuriates me when parents sit and watch as their kids run around causing havoc and being little buttheads. I could never let my kid run riot like that.
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