No... I'm Lucky Now

Heya Bleeps :-)

So, earlier this week I was having lunch with my fabulous friend Niki (of Nikus Road, check her out... about to do IVF!  Stop by and wish her luck!) and we were just chatting about how being a mom after infertility still makes you a little "different".

Like I wasn't going to be "different", no matter what I did.

But specifically we were commenting on folks who have kids, who always make flippant statements about how "lucky" she is (or I once was) to not have kids... so that she could sleep in, or go out without a babysitter, or see a movie whenever she wants.

Or comments I get to me, asking me how much I miss being able to do all that stuff.  "Bet you miss sleep!" or "Are you lucky you had those extra years of sleep?"

Nah.  I'm lucky now.

Do I miss sleep?  Of course.  Do I secretly plot against the folks who tell me their kid started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, planning to call them at 3 am or find ways to set off their car alarm in the middle of the night?

Yeah.  But I'm up anyways, what else have I got to do?

But I try not to complain.  Because the fact of the matter is, if I never slept another minute for the rest of my (what would become a very short) life, I'd still feel grateful that I've got the Tuckman.  And no amount of sleeping in (or movies or late nights out or binge drinking followed by a ride in the cop car) change that for me.

I'm sure any mom would say that.  Except Casey Anthony.  (Too soon?) 

I still think my infertility made me different.  Yes, I'm exhausted but I savor those midnight snuggles.  And who needs movies out, when the magic of Netflix on your Wii brings The Other Guys right to your TV.  I relish the small moments.  I wondered shortly after Tuckmaster was born, when the "I'm so lucky" would wear off.  But it hasn't. 

Infertility made me gain a kind of gratitude I'm not sure I would have known otherwise.

I marvel at Niki, how she resists the urge to punch the folks who say "You're SOOO lucky you don't have kids because blah blah blabbity blah".  But I remember having to fight the same urges myself.  She just does it with a lot more class than I did, usually just curtly replying "Well, I'll trade ya". 

I look forward to the time when Niki WILL have her own little one, and we'll get together for play dates... and we'll both get to think on those years of "adult fun" and know, it was good while it lasted, but we're luckiest now. 

BTW, check out this picture that Niki snapped when we were walking around the mall.  She picked out this hat for him... doesn't she have great taste?  I think Tuckmeister agrees!